Art or Asphalt?

I am not an Artist.  I do not sit in a salon, smoking a cigar, mixing colours and abusing canvases with thick layers of paint.  I do not wear a beret.  Occasionally, I do create.  Most often, I do not share what I create because I deem my 'works' unfinished or not good enough.  In the past, I showed my poetry to just about everybody.  Now, with increasing maturity, I realise that some of my poetry was dubiously masochistic.  Masochism is a good starting point in life but should never be seen as the end of the road.

Okay, what constitutes art to me?  This afternoon, I was at a film event at the Barbican called 'Absolute Dada'.  Essentially, it comprised a series of short films by the likes of Duchamp and Man Ray.  Some of the films consisted of little more than lines, squares and rectangles.  The Man Ray films were more interesting, precisely because occasionally, he explored the human form.  I am not an art snob.  I will embrace all art forms and styles.  I have learnt through experience that I am more interested in art forms that challenge me.  Simple representation does not interest me particularly.  Reality is an invention.  When I look out the window, my view is mediated by my mood, clarity of vision and posture.  Looking at the garden horizontally can be more rewarding than seeing things from a more conventional perspective.

I once said to someone I care about that I am interested in 'organised chaos'.  Well, really, I am fascinated with the pursuit of meaning.  I wish to provide some degree of structure to the things that surround me.  I don't require a concrete manifesto like art movements such as the Surrealists, although it's nice to have an anchor of some kind to hold me down, so that the processes I engage with lead somewhere meaningful.

I had a couple of ideas today and I am learning that whether they come to anything tangible or not, they are inspiring to me.  They provide something joyous in a maelstrom of uncertainty.  They will no doubt remain incomplete but for me the process will always be important.

Barry Watt - 24th March 2013

On the Fourth Day...

It's the 21st March 2013 and I have had an interesting week.  Not a week of revelations.  More a week of spontaneous happenings.  A work colleague's son was performing at the Queen Elizabeth Hall yesterday afternoon and I was able to get the last available ticket.  It was a dance event performed by a variety of groups from different schools.  They had been helped by the Rambert Dance Company.  The majority of the schools were primary schools.  The performances ranged from amazingly accomplished to pretty good but all were worth seeing.

I can't dance.  It's one of life's great tragedies but I live with the sure knowledge that Nureyev would not have perceived me as competition.  Having said that, as I have got older I have learnt to appreciate the various types of dance.  Something about the energy, colours and above all, the ideas.  It's odd but essentially dance is a variation on visual art as it touches the same emotional buttons that a painting in a canvas or sculpture presses.  Dance performances begin with ideas, sometimes themes and on occasions, narratives.  Ballets seem to be more narrative based, whereas contemporary dance is much more thematic.  I remember seeing something called 'The Rodin Project' at Saddler's Wells created by the Russell Maliphant Company with a friend.  It was based on the works of the sculptor, Rodin.  It wasn't the most impressive performance I have ever seen, but it was worth seeing.

Contemporary dance regularly has a physicality about it, a visceral, violent jolt.  A depiction of emotional extremes.  Broken love affairs, shattered dreams connoted through limbs tautly stretched and bodies flung across dirty floors.  A brilliant dance piece I had the pleasure to see awhile ago at The Print Room with a friend was 'Flow'.  'Flow' is Hubert Essakow's exploration of water and its many forms.  You know that you are in for a treat when you are invited to wear an 'overcoat' (okay, bin bag with a hole cut out for your head) because you 'might get a bit wet'.  There's something truly magical about sitting around a pool shaped pit in the dark, looking at about fifty other people all wearing bin bags.  The performance had a magical quality about it until the last ten minutes when the audience had water kicked at them by attractive performers. 

I think as I have aged, I have grown to appreciate the nuances of movement.  Importantly, I have learnt to understand that the moments of statis intermersed within physical performances, allows for respite and indeed, imbues the frenetic quality of movement with greater meaning.  Dance is as much about the subtle as the vigorous.  The gentle and stationary serves an important role in conveying emotion.  In the same way that silence can be inserted into a piece of music to allow for a moment of reflection or simply to calm down the listener and the performers.

This week, I have done other things too but this isn't a conventional journal and quite frankly, who wants to know about my peculiar desires and aspirations?

                                                                                            Barry Watt - 21st March 2013

The 39 - A Prologue - Day 1

I am thirty nine years old today.  It's a point of departure.  A time for reevaluation.  Self-exploration and for contemplating how I got here and where I go from here.

I could have kept the same name for this blog but it serves a slightly different function to the other blogs.  I have resolved to continue to keep writing the other blogs as and when I choose to do so.  'Doing The LOP' will continue in particular as I have so much more to do with that idea.

The 39 as I will colloquially refer to this year will be tied up to a variety of concepts, themes and emotions.  It started with a passing reference someone made when I mentioned how old I would be.  He reference 'The 39 Steps' which will become relevant at some point this year.

This year will be a year of random creative endeavours, personal endeavours.  Some things I will reveal, some I won't.  Most of what we do in life is linked whether we choose to admit it or not.  I will shortly create a list of possibilities, not resolutions as anything that seems final and inhibiting is not allowed.  I want to see where I can go when I do not hold myself back.  I can be goal orientated in more ways than I have chosen to understand.

I want to continue learning.  The things that were once important to me are still important to me.  The friends and acquaintances I have met over the years are still relevant and empowering to me and I hope that they still feel that I hold some value for them.  Friendship, love and positivity are all necessary factors in life.  They help us grow.

Growth is the key word at the moment.  Some of it, I will share if it inspires me.  If it doesn't, I will act like it never existed.  In case, you are wondering, I want everyone to be involved.  How and what may become clearer.  The 'Why?' I have hopefully partially revealed.

I want to move on in many areas of my life and that will involve me opening myself up a little.  I will no longer accept second best for other people and myself.  Being understood has always been one of my needs but as I have got older, I appreciate that this takes many forms.  I would rather be seen and accepted than understood and I am glad that I have met people who have helped me to reach this point.

I am excited for the first time in ages, so where to go from here?  Where do you think I should go and do you want to come with me?

                                                                                                  Barry Watt - 18th March 2013 (Day 1)